And Then There Was You
by Sweet Little Bullet
Summary: Alone, Alice is running from a past that haunts her. Jasper is just trying to come to terms with his and the little piece that he's left with. Together, they just might be able to find out what it takes to be enough. A/U:AH.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone! So, it has literally been **years** since I've written anything - sorry about that- and a lot has changed. I'm still getting back in to the swing of things so please, stick with me. Since it's been, quite literally, forever, I don't have my go- to beta's anymore. I've ran this through several hundred times and tried to fix any grammatical errors, but please, go easy on me. So Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

_**NWBS-Biffle - this is for you.**_**_ Thanks for sticking with me through everything. So proud of you and glad you're my friend. Biggunz ain't got nothing on you. _**

**_Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. (if I did I'd hire a nanny.) _**

**Prologue**

"I'm telling you man," Laurent drawled, taking another pull from his bottle. "Chick is a man-eater. She will chew you up and spit you out."

Maria laughed, setting her glass back down on the table as she leaned across the table. "She's my best friend; do you really think I would lie to you?"

"Look," I laughed, leaning back in my chair and laying an arm across the back of the chair. "It's just sex. Seriously, we've been on the road for months…"

"And you have plenty of women throwing themselves at you." Victoria eyed me, speaking up for the first time since I announced Lucy was meeting us. "Why her?"

"Why not her?" I shrugged.

I sighed, by their reactions; you would think that I had told them we were going to Vegas.

"She's a damn Yoko man." Laurent said, swirling his drink around again. "A damn Yoko."

"Hey!" Maria cried. "Still my best friend."

Laurent rolled his eyes and Maria picked up a discarded cocktail umbrella, stabbing him with it. Laurent retaliated by throwing salt at her and I rolled my eyes once again at my bandmates.

"Jasper." Victoria said quietly, sliding over in to the empty chair next to me. "I'm not saying you should or shouldn't have 'just sex' with her. Just… be careful."

I smiled at her and finished off my beer just as Lucy arrived, her blonde hair pulled up in to a bun. "Hey! Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?"

The table around me erupted in to laughter as Laurent called for another round of shots and Lucy slid in to the now empty seat next to me, her hand finding my thigh underneath the table as she gave it a squeeze.

My band was like my second family, as crazy as they were, and I appreciated their advice. But really, sex was sex. What was the worst that could possibly happen?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heya! Thought I would surprise you all with another chapter since the first wasn't really much. Again, no beta so I'm sorry in advance for any errors. I have read through it and spell checked it so at least there is that. Happy Reading! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. (If I did, I would hire a maid.) **

**Chapter 1**

My arm was asleep. In fact, the whole right side of my body was starting to tingle. I looked at the television once again and realized that I hadn't really seen most of the movie. Not that I'd really needed to. I had seen the movie so many times I could probably recite it. In my sleep.

Groaning, I moved the blonde head off my lap, stretching as I stood up before stooping down to gather her up in my arms, carefully making my way to my bedroom.

I lowered her down in to the bed, covering her up before quietly using the restroom and returning to the other side of the bed, sliding beneath the covers myself.

I smiled to myself as she rolled over, curling in to me, and I placed a kiss on top of her head. "Love you Lou"

She sighed contentedly " Lub you too daddy."

* * *

><p>Her little feet didn't stop as she hit the ground running and I followed quickly behind, shouldering her diaper bag as I tried to catch up.<p>

"Hey short stuff!"

"Uncamett!" She cried as she reached the steps and was swooped up in to the arms of the big oaf I called a brother-in-law.

He laughed as he tossed her up in the air and caught her again, placing a kiss on her cheek before setting her down and letting her inside, stopping me before I got too far.

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing his look all too well. "Is she okay?"

My sister and I hadn't been close growing up. In fact, far from it, we hated each other. As children of the system we spent the majority of our lives in and out of homes until our old man bit it and we turned eighteen. We had both been determined to steer far away from the lives of our past.

For all our differences however, Rose was there for me at the lowest point in my life. She hadn't left my side since, and between her and Emmett, I had found my best friends. The two of them had helped me, through the mess that was my daughter's birth and, well, existence. Emmett getting me a job at his construction business and Rose stepping in and putting her maternal instinct to good use.

The two had longed for children of their own since the day they got hitched. Life had other plans and until recently, the two had been content to help me and live out their lives as the "cool" aunt and loveable goofball uncle. So when Rose had found out she was pregnant, she had taken the time to savor it while it lasted and was shocked when not only was there one perfectly beating heart in their first ultrasound, but two.

"Did you forget the pickles?" I asked in mock fright. "Cardinal rule of pregnancy man. Don't forget the pickles."

Emmett cracked a smile at that one and reached out, clapping me on the shoulder. "It's worse man…"

"The ice cream too?" I shook my head in mock disgust as I passed him and slid through the door just as Rose appeared in the doorway, my daughter on her hip.

"Toofers!" Lou called, holding up a string of ultrasound pictures, using the nickname she had taken to calling the pictures after she heard Emmett calling them a "two for one deal."

"How are they?" I smiled, reaching out and pulling the black and white pictures out of her hand and looking at the labeled "baby a" and "baby b"

"That's what I was trying to warn you about man." Emmett called as he opened the fridge and pulled out a beer.

Rose rolled her eyes and sat Lou down, reaching over to point out the last picture. "Boys?!"

"The both of em!" Rose said, throwing up her hands.

"That's great!" I smiled as I placed an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.

Rose crinkled up her nose. "Yes, it's great but can you imagine three Emmetts…"

We both shuddered at the thought and Emmett threw a ball of aluminum foil towards us as we both struggled to contain our laughter.

Emmett disappeared shortly after, taking Lou to play on the trampoline he had purchased "for her" though Rose and I were both convinced Lou had nothing to do with the choice to buy one.

"So…" Rose started as she handed me a potato peeler.

I looked up warily as I started in on the large bowl of potatoes in front of me. My sister was nothing if not talkative and her lack of words let me know _something_ was up. Her face was hidden behind her hair as she helped peel but when she looked up, a shit eating grin in place, I just _knew_.

"No."

"Jay, you don't even know…"

"Yes I do. And No."

"But…"

"_No_." I said firmly. "I told you no more set-ups. No more blind dates. _No more_."

"I don't understand why you won't even give them a chance. The last time you went out you were back in time to eat dinner with us." Rose sighed.

I attacked the potato in my hand a little too vigorously as I answered. "Not by my choosing Rose. I mention Lou and they run for the hills."

"It's not that bad. You act like the child is a leper."

"She might as well be." I stated and cut Rose off as she started to argue. "No, you don't understand Rose. These women, they want a husband, they want a family, hell they want babies. But they want _their_ babies. I mention that I have one and they deploy the 'emergency phone call' and _don't_ act like you don't know what that is. I _know_ you used it on Emmett."

"And it would've worked too if he hadn't _followed_ me home." She said, rinsing her hands off in the sink.

"I know you want what's best but seriously there has to come a time that you just give up. I don't _need_ a wife. Lou doesn't _need_ a mom. We're doing just fine as it is."

Rose leaned against the sink, watching me as I continued my task. The silence stretched on as I finished the last potato and stood up, moving to watch as Emmett bounced with Lou in his arms.

"I worry about her." Rose finally spoke from behind me. "What happens when she's older and she questions about Lu.."

"She'll be fine." I said shortly. "She has me, you, Emmett, Bella, hell I think even Edward is starting to like her."

"I know." Rose said and I turned to find her staring at the two on the trampoline as well, her hand resting on her belly. "I really do. But I worry about you too Jay. When I look at Emmett, I want to smack him. But I also want to kiss him. I wish he'd move out but I know I couldn't live a day without him. He's…my soul mate. I didn't know that type of love until I'd met him. I just hate that you might be missing out because you're scared of someone rejecting your kid."

"I'm not scared Ro…"

"But you are." She argued. "Don't you see that? Mom took off on us…Lucy did the same thing… do you really want Lou to go through that?"

I chewed my lip as I looked back out to my daughter, bouncing in her uncle's arms, reaching up to the sky, and I knew that I didn't.

Finally, I sighed. "What time?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing.**

**Chapter 2**

_My apartment. My home. Mine. _ I smiled as I sank down on to my couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table just because I wanted to.

It wasn't like the one bedroom, five hundred some square foot shoebox was anything extraordinarily spectacular. In fact, I was pretty sure that if my parents saw it they would flip a shit. But it was fairly close to the hospital and it was _mine_.

It felt good.

No. It felt amazing.

I sighed and got to my feet, rummaging in the fridge to pull out the remainder of my Chinese take-out before retiring back to the couch with my favorite throw blanket.

It wasn't like I had ever wanted for anything in my life. In fact, quite the opposite. I had graduated debt free from Washington State's most prestigious school of nursing. A fact my parents were quite proud of. Being an only child had its perks. Unfortunately, the cons heavily outweighed the pros the majority of the time.

My parents hadn't exactly approved of my huge life changing choices. Beloved doctor in a small family practice who wants his daughter to work for him after marrying her high school sweetheart? Everyone lives happily ever after. What they hadn't counted on was the fact that my _perfect_ relationship would fall apart before their eyes and a ten year relationship was called off in a matter of hours. What _I _hadn't counted on was the fact that my board certified ex would get hired on at my father's practice, effectively putting a nail in that coffin.

My parents, of course, were hopeful that things would work themselves out. James was a wonderful man. Full of passion and dedication. What they didn't know was what _else_ he was full of.

I sighed and reached out to check my phone, once again finding it empty.

Six months later and I still hadn't heard from them save for a text from my mom to make sure I had made it to the city alright and hadn't been murdered my first night there.

I knew my parents loved me, I just wished they would understand that not everyone was going to have the fairy tale ending that they did. Not everyone could.

My phone rang, making me jump as my lo mein slid to the floor. I cursed and answered quickly, standing to go find paper towels before it could stain the already dingy carpets.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Alice? It's Rosalie."

"Hi Rosalie," I said, putting as much excitement in to my voice as I could muster. It wasn't that I didn't like the woman. She was sweet and a damn good nurse. But when she had cornered me in the cafeteria, her burgeoning belly blocking my escape path, and asked me to go on a blind date, I really hadn't had much of an option. I hoped she was calling with 'bad news.' "How are you?"

"Good, good." Rose said offhandedly. "So, I just talked to my brother and he said he would _love_ to meet you."

"_Great._" I said, before I could stop myself and I cringed at the sarcasm that was oozing from that one word. To my relief she chuckled lightly on the other end.

"Look, I'm sorry I was pushy."

"No you're not." I laughed as I leaned against the counter again.

"Yeah...I know you're lying, but it's the sentiment right?" She chuckled. "Anyway, it's just a date. And if the idea of a blind date turns you off that badly, just… think of it as a free meal."

I had to give it to her, she could definitely sell. I mulled it over before finally relenting; taking down the name of the restaurant and directions on how to get there with the last name the reservation would be under. I said good-bye and got to work cleaning up the lo-Mein, ordering a pizza as I worked.

I had just finished both tasks when my phone sounded again. "I told you I would go out with him, what more do you want?" I answered with a laugh.

"Alice?" The voice on the other end questioned and I felt a lump rise in my throat.

"What do you want James?"

"You. I _need_ you to just… come home. Your parents, your friends…we all miss you."

"This isn't about them James. And it's not about you either."

"No? Was it about me when I gave you a ring? When I made you a promise that you were mine?"

I recoiled. "I am _not_ anyone's James and I'm sure as hell not yours."

"You don't know who you are Alice. You never have. Spoiled little princess who does whatever her parents want." His words felt like a slap. "You spend your entire life making them happy and then suddenly they're not good enough for you? Suddenly you're better than this? Than us? I told you this was your fault."

"James…" I started.

"No Alice. Just… come home."

"I can't." I said quietly but it was too late, he had already ended the call.

I spent the rest of the night replaying the last few weeks before my move. The secrets I hadn't told anyone; that I wouldn't tell anyone. And I wondered if he was right.

The next day passed too quickly and before I knew it I was rushing through, trying to find something to wear that didn't resemble scrubs or pajamas, even though both of those were what I wanted to wear. I had put the call with James behind me, even gathering enough strength to shoot my dad a Happy Birthday text, which he promptly ignored. But today had been exhausting. As the new nurse in the pediatrics floor, I seemed to get a lot of the grunt work. After changing my scrubs after being thrown up on three times, by the same kid, Rosalie had decided it was finally time to tell me the kid refused any kind of oral medicine and would purposely vomit just to get out of taking it.

Needless to say, by the time I got out of the hospital, I was ready for a shower. But traffic, even the short distance between the hospital and my apartment had been intense and now I was running ten minutes behind.

I slipped my heels on finally and took off, booking it to the restaurant in record time and even managing to find it without getting lost in the maze of one way streets the suburbs had to offer. I was out of breath by the time I reached the maître d' and I was hoping the poor guy hadn't felt stood up and took off already, mainly because the last thing I ate was a stolen jell-o cup in between vomit sessions.

"Whitlock?" I all but gasped, trying to catch my breath.

The maître d looked puzzled, but to his credit, nodded his head and led me to the table.

I wasn't really sure what exactly I had been expecting. Rose was a beautiful woman, even I could appreciate that. So maybe it was the fact that I had never really been well versed in siblings or perhaps I just thought Rosalie's beauty wasn't au natural. But what I hadn't been expecting was a man that battled her in the looks department.

"Hi." I said, as we approached the table and he stood up, moving to pull my chair out for me.

He smiled, his steel gray eyes lighting up as he reached out for my extended hand. "You kept me waiting."

I laughed and sat down as he moved to join me. "I'm sorry. Traffic was awful and I swear I got puked on three times today so I had to shower and… _I'm sorry_."

He laughed and it was only then that I realized I hadn't let go of his hand yet. Quickly, I relinquished his grasp as he waved off my apology. "I'm just joking. But I am glad you didn't stand me up."

"Me too." I smirked.

**A/N: Hi! So I had decided that I was definitely going to do once a week updates for this, probably on Fridays. However, this procrastinating momma has a busy weekend ahead of her. (Tell me I'm not the only one who wraps presents last minute?!) So, my procrastination is your gain. Also, people used to be crazy excited for sneak peeks way back when so if you want a sneak peek, shoot me a review and I'll send you one**. **Also, huge thanks to WeasleyWeakness for her "gentle shove" to get back in to writing. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**Chapter 3**

"So you just moved out here for shits and giggles?" he grinned.

"Something like that." I sidled. "But what about you. Did you grow up here?

Jasper leaned back in his chair, smirking. "Nope. Rose and I were born and bred in Texas. She moved out here when Emmett, her husband, got a football scholarship. I followed a few years ago."

I smirked, finishing off the last of my wine. "You guys are close then?"

"Well we didn't used to be." He admitted. "I'm pretty sure she used to plot my death when we were little. But then I had… I moved out here and we've been close since. What about you? Do you have siblings?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Only child."

Jasper was about to say something else when a throat cleared from beside us. We looked up to see our waitress, looking oddly embarrassed.

"Sorry to bother you but umm… we need to close."

"Shit." Jasper muttered, moving to stand up and helping me to my feet. It was then that I realized the heels had been a good choice as he had at least a foot on my five foot four inches. "Sorry, I completely lost track of time."

The waitress assured us it wasn't a problem while shooing us out the door and we were both laughing as we walked through the now deserted parking lot.

"Can't believe we're the last ones here." Jasper murmured almost under his breath as we stopped by my car, his having been parked a little further down.

"I have a confession." I said, "I didn't even want to come tonight."

Jasper beamed. "Neither did I."

"I had a really good time though." I admitted.

"Me too." I said, and maybe it was the wine talking, or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in a long time, I really did enjoy myself, but I reached up and placed a kiss on his lips.

Surprised at first, he stilled under my lips, and then he reacted. His lips danced again mine, pulling me closer to him. The heat between us intensified and I felt myself melting against him just as his cell phone sounded from between us, the vibration shattering the mood between us.

He pulled away, reading the screen, before placing it back in his pocket and looking to me with a sad kind of smile. "I've really gotta go."

"Need to get home to your wife?" I joked, knowing full well that he was single.

He stilled and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck stiffly. "Thank you." He said finally. "I had a good time."

I swallowed thickly and nodded, watching him walk back to his car, get in, and drive away. It wasn't until I was at home, changed and in bed that I realized he wasn't going to call me and the thought made me strangely sad.

* * *

><p>"So..how'd it go?" Rose asked as she swiveled in her chair, munching on pistachios as I typed in the information from our rounds.<p>

"Okay." I said simply as I continued on with my work.

The swiveling stopped and I looked up to see her pinning me with narrowed eyes. "Did he tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I asked, confusion setting in.

Rose looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it, instead shaking her head as she leaned back in her chair. "Why just okay?"

"It was… okay, it was more than okay." I finally admitted. "We talked more than I have ever talked to anyone in years. He was funny, and smart, but…"

"But?" Rosalie prodded and I paused. This was her brother I was talking about. The man had told me, straight out that they were close.

"Didn't he tell you all about it?" I asked, my eyes narrowing.

She shook her head. "No. I haven't seen him. He's been working a lot lately. My husband has too. I've been spending my days eating ranch dressing straight out of the bottle."

I pulled a face and she laughed, poking her belly. "I know but it's _so good._"

"It was just… it was nice but I don't think we'll see each other again." I confessed.

I expected her to argue, or to tell me that I was being ridiculous but nothing came and I finished putting the notes in the computer in relative silence.

The rest of the day passed quickly with rounds of tonsillitis and a kid who swallowed a marble and I didn't see Rose again until I was clocking out in the nurses station. She was leaning against the counter chatting with another nurse when she saw me. "Hey! Just the girl I was looking for."

I smiled and clocked out as she waited. "What's up?"

"I'm having a barbecue at my house this weekend. I thought you might like to come. Get to know some people, you know?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Is Jasper going to be there?"

She shrugged. "Don't know yet. But seriously, no ulterior motives. Well… unless you count the fact that you get to see my giant ass of a husband try to burn his eyebrows off."

"Well, how can I resist that?" I cried.

"So, see you there?" She asked, hopefully.

I mulled it over. On the one hand, it could be another attempt at a set-up with a man who very obviously didn't want to be set up with me, and yet, it could be a friendly neighborhood barbecue invitation. "Fine." I sighed finally, laughing when she clapped excitedly before giving me the details.

We said good-bye and parted ways, with the promise of burgers and beer on the horizon, I went home, ready to spend the next few days off in front of the television with enough take out and eighties movies to last for days.

**A/N: I know, I'm horrible! I should have updated earlier. However, I am the worst sinus infection my doctor has ever seen and I am apparently worse than my husband when I get sick. (At least, he's been telling me that while I moan about being sick through the holidays!) If you wanted a sneak peek and didn't get one, I'm very sorry! I'll make it up to you! I _promise_! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing. **

**Chapter 4**

I hadn't really expected much of the date. The last person Rose had set me up with had been at least ten years my senior with a kid half my age. I guess it was like the pot calling the kettle black. She was nice though and said I wasn't her type.

It was sad when even the widows were turning me down. After that, I was pretty sure Rose had run out of available nurse friends to set me up with.

I was expecting a repeat and honestly, that was okay. I wasn't looking for anything but Rose had a point. I didn't want Lou to spend her life scared of someone hurting her. How better than to lead than by example?

I sighed as I checked the time on my cell phone again. She was ten minutes late and I had no idea what a decent amount of time was before I gave up and called it a night. I was just about to text Rose that when she was there, the maître d leading her to the table and instantly I was disappointed.

Not that I had agreed to the date but that I would have to ruin it in a half hour or so when I dropped the Lou bomb.

I was a pro at this point. It wasn't my first rodeo. I would make small talk; try to get to know her, or her get to know me. Then I would bring up my daughter. She would ask how often I had her, if I had a good relationship with her mom, or the like. I would explain that she didn't have a mom and that was that. It was pretty much date repellant that line.

And usually, I would pull that card out if the date just sucked or if I was tired. But this time… I wasn't exactly sure when I was going to do it.

When we started talking, Lou was there, on the forefront of my mind. I almost blurted it out, but I didn't. I kept fighting the urge to tell her about my daughter, instead choosing her company over the truth. I was acting like a coward and the daddy guilt was eating me alive.

And then the waitress was there, telling us it was time to go and the spell was broken. I knew I had to tell her, before it got too much further and I almost did but then she was kissing me and fuck if I didn't want to kiss her back.

And then the babysitter called. And she had made some fucking cute joke about me having a wife and I hated myself for not telling her but I couldn't because I didn't _want_ her to run screaming for the hills. So I just chose not to.

I was a fucking chicken. A moronic chicken.

So that's how I found myself, replaying the date yet again as I tried to think of a way that I _could_ have had my cake and eaten it too.

"Jazz?" Emmett's booming voice pulled me away from my thoughts and I looked up to see him staring at me quizzically. "What the fuck man?"

I looked down to see the nail gun in the wood, a huge splintering hole in the door frame.

I shot him an apology and got to work setting it straight, not letting my thoughts stray again. I couldn't afford to fuck this job up.

"Hey." Emmett said, coming over to me an hour later, hand outstretched with a cell phone. "Rose."

"What's up? Lou okay?" I asked immediately and I heard her grunt.

"Not about Lou." She grumbled and I realized she was eating and talking around whatever she was shoving in her mouth. "It's about Alice."

"Okay…" I said hesitantly, walking away from where Emmett stood inspecting my handiwork.

"What the hell happened?" She demanded and I could hear the hospital speaker in the background.

"Nothing."

"Well something happened Jay because she was looking like you ran over her cat."

"She has a cat?" I joked and I could almost hear her trying to reach through the phone to smack me.

"Jasper."

"Rosalie."

"I'm serious. What happened?"

I sighed heavily and leaned against one of the saw horses. "I fucked up okay. I had a plan. I always do, I was going to get dinner in, tell her about Lou, wait for her to run and then be done with it but shit, we hit it off and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her."

"So you like her?" Of course that was all she would hear of my confession.

"Rose…"

"But you like her?" She cut me off, again. "Sure, you have a kid but I've told you, not everyone is going to think that's a relationship death sentence."

"But most do." I exhaled. "Look, it doesn't matter anyway. I fucked it up, I didn't even tell her goodbye I just kind of meandered back to my car and hightailed it the hell out of there."

"What?!" She all but screeched. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"I freaked out okay."

The silence stretched on for what felt like forever before she started talking again. "You can't just _assume_ Jasper. Not all women are like _her_. Not all women are like mom."

She ended the call then, having to see to some emergency with a marble or something, and I went back to work, ignoring the look Emmett shot me when I handed him back his phone, knowing he had overheard every bit of the conversation I had just had by the way he muttered _"smooth"_ under his breath.

I ignored his jibes and continued on with work, only stopping when I had finished the bathroom framing.

"Hey man." Emmett called, gesturing to me as I headed towards my car. "Need to talk to you."

He caught up as I threw my belt in my trunk and slammed it close, not really in the mood for his shit at the moment.

"Rose is having some kind of barbecue this weekend, some gender reveal or some shit to tell everyone she's got two dicks in her. I don't know. Anyway, she wants you to help man the barbecue since… you know, the last time?"

I snorted, despite my best efforts as I remembered the last time Emmett had used the grill without supervision and nearly burned the whole block down. Emmett glared and finally I relented, nodding in agreement as he went to tell some of the other guys about Rose's impromptu party.

I drove to pick up my daughter from daycare, stopping by the store for a quick dinner, before heading home, my mind on Alice and the way she had looked when I pulled away from her in the parking lot and the fantasy of what might have happened if I had told her about Lou and she hadn't bolted like every other woman before her.

And as I snuggled in to bed, letting Lou sleep with me again, despite Rose's advice that I was going to spoil her, I let myself dream that just for once, I was wrong.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 5**

I should have known Rose was up to something. I kicked myself for not figuring it out sooner. By the time I realized she _was_ up to something it was too late. She had my kid and I had no choice but to go to her house to retrieve her. I only hoped I could leave with my dignity.

The "gender reveal" party ended up being Emmett on the grill, his kid sister Bella with her boyfriend Edward in tow, myself, my daughter and…Alice.

"I cannot believe you." I hissed over Rosalie's shoulder as she arranged the devilled eggs she had made on to the plate and grabbed her huge bottle of ranch dressing.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You kidnapped my daughter last night, demanded I show up early, and you invited _her_."

Rose turned on me, hitting my chest with her finger. "First of all, I _always_ take Lou on Fridays. I have since she was born, in case you don't remember. Second of all, I didn't demand, I _asked_ and third, she's my _friend_ and last I checked this is my house and I can invite who I want."

She stuck her tongue out at me and went through the sliding glass doors, introducing Bella and Edward to Alice. I rolled my eyes but followed, looking anywhere but at Alice as I made a beeline for Emmett who, surprisingly, still had both eyebrows.

"Where's Lou?" I hissed.

"Napping." He answered as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Sounds like you might need to join her. Grumpy Gus."

"Shut up." I snapped, grabbing the beer he had just picked up and opened and taking a drink.

He laughed and grabbed another beer, ignoring my mood. "You really do like this chick don't ya? I thought Rose was fuckin' with me."

"I don't." I growled, chugging the beer in my hand.

"Slow down." Emmett scolded, tapping the bottom of my bottle with his and I groused but complied, my eyes sliding to Alice out of my periphery.

She was looking my direction, caught in a conversation with Bella about some nurse's thing or another. I relaxed, just a tad when she turned to acknowledge something Edward asked her and I chanced a glance in her direction.

In the bright of the October day, she was even more stunning than she had been in that damned Italian restaurant that Rosalie had chosen. I was so caught up in my view that I didn't catch her staring back at me in time and soon she was excusing herself from the conversation at the table and heading in my direction, Rosalie smiling broadly from behind her.

I turned toward Emmett to see him wink and slide out of the way.

_Fucking traitors_.

"Hi." She said her voice unsure, questioning. And I turned slowly, purposefully taking a drink of my beer. "Thought I'd say hello."

We stood in awkward silence as I fought for words to say before she finally turned and went back to the table, at which every eye was glaring in my direction.

Rosalie mouthed the word _stupid_ before she excused herself to the bathroom and Emmett led Edward to look at some mechanical thing or another. Bella, taking the hint, decided she _had_ to make a phone call and sighing, I relented, moving to sit at the vacated table.

"Sorry." I said quietly. "I'm… grumpy today."

Alice snorted, playing with the label on her bottle of ale.

"And I'm sorry, about our umm... date." I said quietly.

"No." Alice said, looking up. "I'm sorry about that. I'm a lightweight apparently. I shouldn't have…"

She trailed off and we sat together, again in silence before I finally finished the rest of the beer and sat forward, rubbing my hand over my stubble.

"I told Rosalie I didn't want to go. I'm not…"

"I understand." She said, cutting me off.

"I'm not… I'm not doing this right." I groaned before I stood up, reaching out for her hand. "Come on."

She looked at my hand warily, before deciding it wouldn't bite and letting me help her to her feet. I held her fingers for a moment longer, knowing this would probably be the last time I could do that, before I let her go and led her in to the house.

To her credit, she followed, only pausing momentarily as I headed towards the stairs before she quickly caught up.

I opened the first door on the left. The once guest room, turned nursery for a baby that wasn't theirs.

"What are we…?" Alice started but I shushed her quickly and gestured to the crib on the opposite side of the room.

She sidled over, her eyes questioning mine as she looked down in to the sleeping face of my daughter. She looked up, eyes meeting mine, and I nodded out of the room and she complied, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"When you asked if I had a wife at home?" I asked, leaning against the wall. "I don't, but I do have another girl."

She looked hurt at first before slowly, realization seemed to wash over her at the same time that Lou woke up, crying in the room we had just vacated.

I slid past Alice, opening the door and putting my daddy face on as I scooped up my girl from the crib, kissing the top of her blonde curls and promising a diaper change as I let Alice escape behind me. I decided, as I looked down in Lou's bright blue eyes that I was okay with that, as long as I didn't have to watch.

**A/N: Thinks may or may not get rocky after this. Hang in there!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 6**

It felt like all the air had been vacuumed out of the house as I watched him. The little girl, with the bluest fucking eyes and the chubbiest cheeks I'd ever seen, smiled at him and played with the strings on his hoodie as he changed her diaper. He was all smiles and kisses and my stomach was doing somersaults in my chest.

I swallowed and turned, needing some air.

I don't really even know how I got to the front porch, finding the railing as I tried to compose myself.

My relationship with James was supposed to have been picture perfect. We met our 8th grade year when he transferred in. He was a foster kid and my parents ate that shit up. So when my dad started mentoring him, it wasn't a surprise to anybody that the two of us started dating.

By the time we were graduating high school I had a ring on my finger and a date set for after I had graduated.

We were going to be just like my mom and dad. Living the dream life.

I busted my ass through school as James learned from the best; my dad. He would tell me constantly how lucky I was to have_ him_ and the rest of my family and the shitty part was that I believed him, whole heartedly.

And then I passed my exams with flying colors and I _should_ have been celebrating as I got ready to start work at my father's clinic. But instead, I was telling James that I was late and that I'd never been late.

I had expected him to be upset, because it wasn't in our plans. But I hadn't expected the harsh angry words he had spit at me.

It was then that I knew that he was full of potential all right. And full of shit as well.

"Hey." I turned to see Rose coming outside, her brow was furrowed and I couldn't tell if she was angry that I had ran out of her party or worried. "Are you okay?"

I smiled a little, as I worked to compose myself, reminding myself that he wasn't here and this was a coincidence, not a slap in the face. "Sorry, I'm fine. Just needed a little air."

Rose studied me, her lips pursed, before finally she relented. "Okay. Well, lunch is ready."

I followed her inside and through the house, back out to the back deck where the rest of the guests were already tucking in to their food. I allowed myself one glance at Jasper, watching him help his daughter as she tried to devour a hot dog around the bun it was encased in without actually getting any bread in her mouth. I smiled sadly and shook my head. I knew it was happenstance, a complete fluke, but leave it to me to become attached to the guy with a kid when I could never be a mother myself.

* * *

><p>"It was like she was a deer in headlights." I said with a sarcastic laugh.<p>

Edward was chortling as he rinsed off a dish, bending over to place it in the dishwasher. "You did kind of just spring it on her."

"It's always the same though. They like me at first but the first mention of a kid and they bail."

Edward sucked his teeth and shook his head as I handed him the last dish. "Do you really think she was _that_ freaked out by it? I mean, she stayed for a while after dinner just shooting the shit."

I shook my head, remembering the look in Alice's eyes when she connected the dots between me and my daughter. She had taken off like a bat out of hell and honestly, I was surprised that she _did_ stay around after that. But then I reminded myself that she wasn't there for me, she had come for Rosalie and once Rose had cut in to the cake, showing everyone that she was indeed having two boys, she had taken her leave.

I had been avoiding Rose since, even opting to do dishes just to get out from under her deathly glare.

"She's friends with Rose." I explained simply, drying my hands on a stray rag. "Any way you spin it, she didn't say much to me after she found out about Lou. Which is fine, I just…"

I trailed off, not wanting to get in to the psychobabble bullshit with Edward. He was a cool guy but since he was studying to be a shrink, he often liked to practice on us too much. The last time he had left Rose in tears over one thing or another and we had all decided not to let him get too Dr. Phil on us anymore.

Thankfully, Bella appeared at that moment, pulling Edward away from the conversation to say goodbye to everyone. I trailed behind, finding Emmett and Lou passed out on the couch, Frozen playing on the television, again.

Rosalie was cleaning up the stray toys my terrifying toddler had managed to drag out.

"Well, that went well." She said when she noticed me trying to shove a stuffed Barney toy in to the already overflowing toy box.

"You're joking right?" I deadpanned. "She practically had a heart attack when she figured out I had a kid. She probably would have just up and left if you hadn't been friends with her."

Rose was shaking her head, her brow furrowed. "No, I don't think that's…"

"Just stop, okay?" I sighed, giving up and tossing Barney on the floor in the general vicinity of the toy box. "You gave it your best shot, it didn't work out. If anything it's a blessing. Now I know for sure. Maybe in a few years someone will be desperate enough to date me but until then..."

"Jasper."

I held up my hands, "No. Just, enough okay? I'm not giving up forever, just… for now."

It took a moment but finally, she nodded with sad eyes. What I didn't bother to tell her and didn't really want to admit to myself was that I didn't want to give up now because I was tired of trying, but because I didn't _want_ to try with anyone else.

**A/N: Don't hate me.  
>WW- Here's some Dadsper to help you mend!<br>**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 7**

The days continued to pass, and despite my best efforts, Alice was always on the forefront of my thoughts.

One fucking date and I was hooked worse than cocaine.

I avoided my sister, knowing she had promised to stop trying to push Alice and me in to seemingly random interactions, yet knowing that she often 'forgot' promises quicker than Emmett forgot how to be an adult. I threw myself in to my work and my night times with Lou.

It was ridiculous and I was powerless to stop it.

And that was how I found myself thinking about her once again as I worked on installing cement board in the bathroom of one of Emmett's new builds. We weren't supposed to be working late but Emmett had taken Rose on some kind of last baby-free vacation, a babymoon, or some corny shit like that. On top of that, half of the guys were out with some kind of stomach flu, which meant that the rest of us had our workloads increased. Which was fine, I could always use the money, but it also meant taking on rote tasks that occupied my hands but not my mind.

I had talked to Emmett only once about the last time I had seen Alice. In which he had called me a derogatory term and told me to grow a pair. But he just, didn't understand. No one did really.

I wasn't living in some damn romance novel. Women just didn't want to deal with other women's kids.

Besides it wasn't just that Alice wouldn't want Louise. It was the fact that I didn't want to tie her down with a ready-made family. I had spent 3 hours with Alice, just talking on our date and I already knew the girl was going places. She wanted so much out of life and she was so full of life. Add that on to the fact that she was fucking gorgeous and men were tripping over themselves. I wasn't blind. I had seen it on our date. Even fucking Edward had given her the once over and I'm sure Emmett would have too had it not been for his very pregnant, very scary wife.

That is why I had to just let it go. Let her go. It was a task that was proving to be more difficult than it should be.

"Whitlock!" I turned to see Sam motioning from the other room, trying to be heard over the tile saw.

I abandoned my work and followed him out of the busy work zone. "What's up?"

"Your daycare called. Something wrong with Lou." He explained and my stomach twisted up.

"They say what?" I asked as I started undoing my tool belt and he shook his head.

"Nah but go on ahead, we'll finish up for you."

I thanked him quickly and headed out, my mind running through various freak accidents that could have happened at the small home daycare she went to.

The older daycare lady, Mrs. Cope, met me at the door as soon as I pulled up. Lou was draped over her shoulder precariously, tears streaming down her face.

"She's okay." Mrs. Cope said, rubbing her back as she handed her off to me. "Don't think she's feeling well but she's not running a temp. She woke up from afternoon nap and refused to eat. I called when she started crying for you."

I kissed Lou's forehead, both gauging her temperature and thanking whatever higher deity there was that there was nothing majorly wrong.

After thanking Mrs. Cope we made a beeline straight for home as we settled in for what I assumed was going to be a very long night.

* * *

><p>"Jasper?" Rose's voice was heavy with sleep and I would have felt bad for waking her had it not been for the screaming, thrashing two year old who was currently breaking world records on my living room floor. "Is that LouLou? Is she okay?"<p>

"Oh, yeah, she's just dying of malaria from my doctoral degree courtesy of google." I snapped.

Rose sighed. "I'm six hours away Jasper."

"I know that. But you're a damned nurse."

"A nurse that can't see the patient." She retorted. "If you're so worried, take her in."

"Yeah but I'm still paying on the last hospital bill. When they sent her home with a _cold_."

Rose groaned on the other end of the phone as Lou continued to regale us with evidence that no matter how sick she was, her lungs still worked. "Okay. Just… give me a minute."

I rolled my eyes, she was six hours away and she wanted me to give her a minute? "Fine."

Exactly five minutes later, as I bounced Lou around the house, trying anything I had up my daddy sleeve to calm my daughter, the doorbell rang.

I opened it, half expecting to see a crazed Rosalie but instead met with the deep blue eyes I had been trying my hardest to forget.

She didn't wait for any invitation as she reached out and took Lou, sliding a palm up the back of her shirt as she held her to herself and sighed. "She's burning up."

**A/N: I'm no doctor or nurse. Please excuse any errors I may have made. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 8**

Jasper looked like he hadn't slept in days when he answered the door. His eyes were rimmed with red and bloodshot and his hair was sticking up in various directions.

When Rose had called me, frantic, and begging that I help her brother I had assumed she was exaggerating but as soon as I saw her, face pallid and tear-streaked, as she screamed against her dad's shoulder, I knew something was wrong.

"Do I need to take her to the ER?" Jasper asked, frantic and I shook my head.

"Go run a luke-warm bath and get me a thermometer?"

He nodded his head and I let myself move further in to the tiny bungalow, resting Louise against my shoulder as she cried quietly.

"That's the first time she's not been screaming." Jasper remarked as he re-entered the room, passing me a thermometer before disappearing back in to what I assumed was the bathroom.

I sat down on the couch, cradling the toddler against me as I quickly took her temperature and assessed the situation.

Jasper appeared just as the beeping sounded and I nodded my head. "She's still got tears, so that's good, it means she's not dehydrated and her temp is one hundred and two even, which is pretty high but not life threatening."

We worked together fluidly as we got her in to the lukewarm bath, both cringing as she fought and clawed against the water. When she had calmed down and her skin began to feel less like a fireplace we took her out of the tub and I held her while Jasper gave her Tylenol.

He reached for her when he had returned from putting the medicine away and she curled away from him, resting her cheek against my chest. I smiled as I leaned back against the couch, getting comfortable.

"I'm sorry, I can just take her. Thank you for coming." He said, once again reaching for her.

I felt my stomach tighten. "You want me to go?"

Jasper paused, his arms outstretched. "I don't want you to be somewhere you don't want to be."

I mulled that over, Louise resting peacefully against my chest and shook my head. I ran my hands through her soft curls "Nowhere else I want to be."

We sat quietly in the living room, the TV muted in the corner, as I held the now quieted toddler as she began to drift off to sleep.

"You think she's okay?" Jasper finally asked.

"Yeah." I nodded, reaching down to run a finger down one of her plump cheeks. "She's cooled down already. If we can keep her temperature down you can take her to the doctor tomorrow."

Jasper nodded and rubbed his hand on his face. "Thank you. For making the trip out here…"

He looked like he wanted to say more but stopped and I smiled at him as I repositioned the little girl in my arms. "It's not a problem. Really. If you'd rather I not be here then I can go… I think her temp is under control now."

"No." Jasper said quickly. "I mean… you don't have to… if you want to… I mean…"

I snickered despite myself.

"What I mean is…" Jasper started again, a fierce determination in his eyes. "I don't want you to leave but if that's what you want, then I won't fault you."

As I sat there, holding his sleeping daughter against my chest, I realized he was talking about more than just at this moment.

"Is that what this is about? You and me?" I asked, sitting up a little bit.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and his shoulders sagged. "I get it. I do. Women like you don't date guys like me. "

_Spoiled little princess _ played in my head but I bit back the retort that instantly came to my lips. "I'm not sure I understand." I replied instead

"I have a kid. A kid that has no mom. I'm alone in this and it's not a fun place to be sometimes. I know that better than anyone…"

"Jasper." I said quietly but he continued.

"That's why I didn't tell you on that first date. Not because I was hiding it, or hiding _her_, but because you were the first girl Rose had set me up with that I didn't immediately want to send running for the hills with the 'hey, I'm a baby daddy' card. I liked spending time with you. And then I was an idiot…"

"Jasper." I said, a little louder, yet still he continued.

"I should have just told you in the parking lot but when you kissed me, it was like, I don't know those fucking hallmark movies or something? And then I just fucking walked away because I thought, hell, if I tell her now she'll run away and never look back but if I just walk away then I won't have to remember what it looks like to see someone you're actually into take off…"

"Stop." I said finally, cutting him off.

Thankfully, this time, he listened.

"Can I speak?" I asked, smiling slightly, and he nodded. "I didn't want to go out with you. I told you that, and yes, I thought you hated me but I never, not for once, wanted to run away. I just… I'm insecure sometimes and if you didn't want me then I didn't want to get attached to you _and_ your fucking adorable baby."

He looked at me like I had two heads, standing up and moving over to sit on the same couch as me. It wasn't the whole truth, and maybe it was wrong not to tell him all of it, but the fact that he had just confessed that he didn't think I was a pariah made me happier than I had been in a long while. The rest could wait.

"So does that mean you don't want to run?" He asked finally as he studied my face.

"Not a chance." I smiled as I leaned over carefully and kissed him.

**A/N: Was 6-ish hours long enough?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing! **

**Chapter 9**

If cloud nine existed, I was pretty sure I was on it.

Someone could write a hallmark movie about my life and I wouldn't even give a damn, that's how happy I was.

Alice held Lou until she woke up, fever creeping back up again, and wanting her daddy. We switched things around and I ended up with Louise curled on my chest, dosed up and diaper on, as Alice made us something to eat.

I should have been embarrassed that in the wake of Lou's temper tantrum my house looked like a hurricane had blown through it, but instead I was fighting off the shit eating grin I could feel sneaking up.

"I didn't know what you liked on your sandwiches soo..." Alice said as she slid in to the seat next to me, balancing two plates and two cans of soda precariously in her arms.

I laughed and moved so that I could sit up a little and help her, laying Lou down on the couch beside me.

I laughed when I realized she had put just about everything you could have on a sandwhich on the sandwich she handed me and I crinkled my nose. "Pickles?"

"Yes?" she asked questioningly and then sighed dramatically, reaching over and switching plates with me. "pickle free."

I laughed and sat back, "I actually like pickles."

She stuck her tongue out at me and we fell in to comfortable silence as we ate together.

"Can I…" she started but stopped and shook her head.

"What?" I asked, laughing lightly.

"It's not my business." She said, pursing her lips.

"Lou's mom?" I asked, knowing where the conversation was going and dreading it already.

"Yes, but like I said, not my business."

I sighed and wiped my hands on one of the napkins she had provided and I wondered where she had found them in my kitchen.

"I was in a band."

Alice choked on a chip and I threw a glare in her direction. "Sorry, go ahead."

"I was in a band. It started out as some shitty little high school gig with me and my buddy Vincent and a few other guys. Then he invited his cousin Laurent to hang out and play with us. When we graduated Vinny went to Stanford and Laurent and I took the band on the road. We ended up meeting this chick named Maria. Raging bitch but a great singing voice. She kind of invited herself in and we just let it happen."

"So Maria is….."

"No." I said, taking another bite and taking my time to chew and swallow. "No, Maria's best friend was named Lucy. Tall, blonde, and really great with numbers. Maria asked her for some help with touring, you know, shit like that and she stepped in. I don't know, somewhere along the way we just started hooking up. The rest of the band hated it but it was just sex. It wasn't supposed to be anything else. We were doing really fucking great, we were slated to open for some big bands and had a few labels eyeballing us, it was just, we were damn good. Then Lucy says she's pregnant. Some, antibiotic fluke or something, I don't know.

So she went back home while we were on the road. She hated it. Every minute of it. I would get frantic calls saying she just wanted to die. The doctors said it was pregnancy depression or something like that. I decided that I should be home with her. So I quit the band and moved home. She was about seven months along or so. She didn't take it well. She hated me for being there and not on the road. I don't know what it was. Anyway, she was thirty two weeks along or so and she went in to labor. Lou came out all tiny and helpless and she refused to even look at her. She said she didn't want her. She begged me to just, sign some papers. She called it 'getting back to our lives' or some shit like that. She had even called an adoption attorney ahead of time. "

"But you didn't…" Alice said and I looked to see her staring at me in wonder.

"Nah. They put her in that damn incubator thing and I called Rose and Emmett. They were the only people I knew. They came all the way from Washington to Texas that day and told me that we could come back with them. We wouldn't be alone. I went to tell Lucy and she had checked out against medical advice. She was just _gone_."

"That's terrible." Alice whispered her plate of food long forgotten.

I shrugged. "It was actually the best thing that happened to me. If she had stayed I might have done something stupid, like marry her. Plus she gave me Lou, I couldn't ask for anything better."

She smiled then and leaned over again, and this time I met her kiss with my own.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 10**

I woke up to someone slapping me in the face. I opened my eyes just as Lou hit me again and I heard Alice laugh from somewhere to my left.

"Up Daddy." Lou called and I laughed.

"Okay! Okay! I'm up!" I cried as she made to slap me again.

Alice laughed again and I looked to see her still stretched out along the floor, my pillow under her head. Lou rounded on her, toddling over to pull the blanket off of her.

"Up!" She commanded and it was my turn to laugh.

"I think she feels better." Alice said as she pulled herself up to a sitting position. It was then that I noticed her short, inky black hair and I couldn't help but laugh. She reached up, smoothing her locks and shooting me a glare. "stop!"

"Sorry!" I chuckled just as the doorbell rang.

I picked up Lou who was trying to assault Alice again and opened the door, Lou giggling with glee as Emmett pulled her from my arms.

"She looks fine to me Rose." He said, tickling her belly.

"Is she okay?" Rose asked, waddling up the porch behind him.

"She's fine."

"Did Al…" She cut off and I turned to see Alice standing behind me, arms crossed around her as she watched Emmett continue his tickle assault on my daughter. "Hi Alice."

"Hi Rose! Did you have a good trip?"

Rose rolled her eyes and pushed past me, the two women chatting as they walked back in to the living room.

"She refused to do anything fun after she got off the phone with you last night. I figured we should just pack it in and come home early since you weren't answering your cell."

"Oh shit." I said, reaching in my pocket where my phone had rested all night. "I forgot to plug it in."

" I bet you plugged something in." Emmett smirked, nudging me.

"Shut up." I scoffed and turned, going back inside and away from my brother-in-law.

The women were in the kitchen now, Rose already making herself at home as she scoured the cabinets, Alice sitting on the cabinet, shrugged her shoulders as I walked in.

"You need to go shopping." Rose declared.

"Thanks boss." I deadpanned.

"No seriously. Lou is feeling better, why don't you and Alice go shopping while I get some auntie and Lou Lou time in."

"What about Emmett?" Alice asked and I pointed at her.

"She's right. What about Emmett."

Rose wrinkled her nose as Emmett came in the kitchen, "I guess I can keep him, if I have to."

"I'm sure Alice has far better things to do…" I started.

"Nope. No plans." Alice said, cutting me of with a smirk. "Besides, you kind of owe me a date do over."

Rosalie gave me a knowing smirk and I threw my hands up. "fine."

Alice laughed and hopped down. "I need to change. Pick me up in about twenty minutes?"

I nodded and she smiled as I bent down and pecked her lightly on the lips before she bounced out the door just as Emmett and Rosalie changed in to giant gloating assholes and suddenly, twenty minutes was far too long.

* * *

><p>It took me all of five minutes to realize that I had no idea where Alice lived, and my nearly euphoric mood took a sudden nose dive as I wondered if that had been her plan all along, to bolt when I least expected it.<p>

Rosalie, however, pointed out – not so nicely- that I had a text message with her address mere minutes after she left, a fact that meant she had taken the time to not only put her contact info in my phone but also to send herself a text so she would have mine.

I relaxed a little, the cynic in me still waiting for the other shoe to drop like it had so often before when I had liked the women a whole lot less.

By the time I had made it to Alice's place I was a jittery mess, but there she was, waiting for me as she nearly floated to my car and slid easily in to the passenger seat.

My hands clenched the steering wheel and we made good time to the store as I fought against the urge to reach over and hold on to her myself. To make sure she wasn't going anywhere, or make sure she was real.

Once we got to the store, I began to relax a little. Alice slipping her delicate hand in mine as we perused the aisles together definitely helped.

"So I guess I still owe you a date huh?" I asked as Alice stood flipping through a magazine.

"What?" She asked.

"This isn't a date. And if it is, it's a pretty lame one."

She laughed. "I guess so."

I smirked but felt my chest tighten a little. "This is how it is though."

"What?" she asked again, setting the magazine down and edging closer to me.

"It's shit like this. Stolen moments in the grocery store, or the few minutes after I get the kid in bed before I pass out myself. This is life as a parent. It's not fun, it's not glamorous… I just… don't want you to think there's some hidden exotic adventure."

She crinkled her nose and I felt her arm snake around my waist. "I don't know about that. I've never fed a toddler spaghetti before. That's gonna be an adventure all on its own."

I chuckled and opened my mouth to argue but she leaned up, kissing me softly.

"I'm not expecting anything else. It's a learning curve. For both of us."

She ended the conversation there as the line moved up and she pushed the cart up to the cashier. As I watched her laugh with the cashier about the random assortment of odds and ends we had purchased I realized that I definitely needed to get over whatever the hell this was because I wasn't going to ever find another Alice. And I didn't want to.

**A/N: Hope this helps warm you up if you need it. More to come!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 11**

I was pretty sure I was falling for Jasper. Hard and fast.

As the days passed, I found myself at their house more and more often. Playing with Lou Lou, helping with dinner, staying for a movie.

I never let it get too far though. The part of me that had been hurt before never let it get farther than that.

Heaven knows I wanted to. After Lou had gone to bed and we'd find ourselves 'watching' a movie, a tangle of limbs and lips on the couch, I wanted to go further. Yet it was always me who pulled away first, breathless and dizzy.

I tried not to let the hurt in his eyes bother me, but it always did. To his credit though, he was patient. Far more patient than anyone else before. I didn't know if that was because he too wasn't quite ready yet, or because he wanted it to be on my terms. Or maybe it was just because he had the patience of a saint; a fact I saw on a daily basis when he was with his daughter.

It didn't help though that I had somehow stumbled upon a God in the flesh. In the time that we had been unofficially together, I had only seen him really 'work out' once, and that was him doing curls with his daughter. Yet his abs looked like you could grate cheese on them and his biceps sent me in to a tizzy any time he wore a short sleeve shirt. I tried not to let on, but by the way he was often shirtless when I got to his house made me think he had caught on. And all that didn't even count the tattoos that he had strewn across his upper body. He called them a reminder of his past, but he had meaning behind each one. My favorite was the one on his chest, over his heart, which celebrated the tiny miracle that was his daughter. Simple as it was, the tiny footprints were definitely my favorite piece of art on his body. I knew it was his too.

Louise and I had begun to bond. I tried not to let it scare me. Yet when I would come in the door she was right there, attached to my hip, thumb in her mouth as she held on to my pants. To anyone else it would have been the sweetest, most adorable thing. To me, it was like a vice grip on my heart threatening to end it all at any second.

So, why I had volunteered to babysit, I had no idea.

Jasper had told me weeks ago that he was trying to break back in to the music business. Nothing major, just helping to cut some records at a studio in the city. He wanted to get back to writing; the part he loved most.

He had had this appointment made for months. Far before our disastrous date ever happened. However, it was also the night of one of his sister's high risk baby doctor appointments. He had planned on Bella watching Lou, but when she called, sick with some nasty stomach flu, Jasper had been willing to cancel his appointment.

Somehow, I had lost my mind in the emotion of it all and I was up to bat.

Lou sat in her high chair; fork in one hand and mac and cheese in the other, watching me with weary eyes.

"You and me both, kid." I told her.

She crinkled her nose up in one of her cheesy smiles. "Lou Boo"

"Lou Boo to you too." I said, laughing with her as she dissolved in to hysterics.

"Are you sure about this?" Jasper asked, coming down the stairs with a shirt in his hand.

I swallowed thickly and nodded my head as I tried to compose my thoughts around his chiseled body. I would like to think that I wasn't all that shallow but I was pretty sure my panties would say otherwise at the moment. "I'm sure."

"If you need me to, I can call and…"

I rolled my eyes and handed Lou the cup she had just managed to knock over, making use of diverting my eyes. "I'm a pediatric nurse Jasper. I think I've got this in the bag."

He laughed then and leaned over, kissing Lou on the head and then leaning over me, still shirtless, a shit eating grin in place, before kissing me on the cheek and pulling away.

"You suck." I muttered as he walked away, pulling his shirt on over his head, laughing as he disappeared in to his bedroom once more.

"Suck" Lou resounded loudly from her high chair in front of me and I cringed.

"Did she just copy you?" Jasper asked as he reappeared in the doorway, this time completely clothed with a beanie and a fleece jacket covering his upper half.

"Yup. Sure did." I said with a laugh as Lou clapped for herself in the high chair.

"Guess we should watch our mouths now huh?" Jasper said, coming to give Lou another kiss good-bye.

"And stop letting Uncle Emmett babysit."

We both laughed as I stood up to give him one last kiss before sending him on his way, promising to call him straight away if there was any type of emergency, and to not give Lou any cookies before bed. Though the last I was sure wasn't going to last.

The rest of the night went fairly smooth, and I was surprised to learn that despite what others might think, I was actually pretty good at the whole baby thing.

I had just gotten Lou asleep and in her bed, sitting down to relax on the couch, when my phone rang. I expected it to be Jasper, checking in on us, again.

"We're fine." I said with a laugh.

"That's good." My dad said on the other end of the line and I nearly choked on the soda I had taken a drink of. "I'm happy to hear you're still alive, though a call would be nice once in a while."

"Sorry?" I said meekly as I sat up straighter, instantly tense.

"Well, too late for that now. I'm calling because it's November and we haven't seen you in months."

"I've been a little busy." I said dryly.

"I understand that all too well." He replied. "Still, the fact remains that we are your parents and we would like to see you. Your mother would like for you to come home for Thanksgiving."

I sighed. Of course he would use my mother against me. I had never been exceptionally close with my father, but my mother was impossible not to love.

"I have to work on Thanksgiving day." I said quickly.

"Well that's good, we're having our family thanksgiving on Saturday since your mother and I will be serving the homeless on Thanksgiving."

I fought the urge to grumble. I was out of excuses. I was just about to tell him that I would see him there when Lou woke up, her resounding cry carrying through the baby monitor.

"You aren't at work now are you?" My dad asked.

"No dad." I said, making my way to Lou's room and picking her up from the crib. "I'm… I'm at my boyfriends."

I was met with silence on the other end of the line and Lou snuggled up against me, falling asleep almost as soon as she was curled in to my chest.

"Well, then I can't wait to meet this _boyfriend_." My dad said and I knew by the tone of his voice that there was no arguing. I only hoped that Jasper would be more accommodating than I'm sure my father was going to be.

"We'll be there." I said shortly before hanging up the phone.

Without even bothering to turn off the lights in the living room I made my way to Jasper's room and slid in to bed, falling asleep with Lou nestled in to my side and the smell of Jasper floating around me.

**A/N: I hope the next few chapters will kind of show what and why Alice is trying to break free from her past. I know some people have been wondering. Also, Dadsper with tats. You're welcome. (If it's not your thing just take out that part.) **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Chapter 12**

"I'm sorry." Alice said again from the passenger seat. It was at least the tenth time she had said it, today alone.

"Are you leading me to death?" I asked, only half joking.

She looked at me grimly. "It'd probably be better that way."

I couldn't help but laugh. When she had first asked me to go to her parents for thanksgiving I thought she had been joking. When I realized she wasn't I had accepted her invitation, albeit hesitantly. I wasn't really sure what we had in our relationship. I knew that I wanted her with me as much as possible; I knew that when she wasn't around I missed her. I knew that I loved those times when she would find my lips with hers, and when she would let me do the same. But I also knew she was holding back.

I saw it each time we got a little too close to the edge of no return. How she would pull away and reposition her shirt. I hoped to myself that it wasn't because of the little body sleeping in her car seat in the back. That it wasn't because I had a souvenir of my last failed relationship that was living proof of mistakes I had once made. I prayed it had nothing to do with her, but sometimes I just wasn't sure.

"I'm sorry though." Alice said again, squeezing my fingers tight. "I know we aren't… official or anything so you didn't have to come but, _thank you._"

I was about to answer her, to tell her that it had always been _official_ to me, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, when she told me to slow down and turn.

I wasn't really sure what I had been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't the sprawling house, no, mansion, that greeted me.

I knew Alice had had a pleasant childhood, that much she had told Rose in my presence when somehow our childhoods were brought up. After that, I was pretty much blind.

"This is your house?" I asked, feeling my jaw go slack.

"No." She growled. "It's my parents."

* * *

><p>"It's so nice to meet you." I cringed as my mother's hand found Jasper's free one and she pulled him in to a hug.<p>

I had hated the idea of bringing them here, both of them. I had been coming up with excuses as to why my _boyfriend_ couldn't make it for days. I had hoped that when I asked he would have helped me out, given me some excuse or just flat out told me he didn't want to meet my parents. We weren't, after all, officially together. Or, he had never really asked me to be anything to him other than a friend. I wasn't quite sure what that had meant but I had been fine with waiting.

Until now.

"Where's dad?" I asked lowly as my mom came in for a hug.

"He's in his study I believe." She said, pulling back to smile at me as she cupped my cheek, her eyes teary. "Now, who is this beautiful little creature?"

I watched as my mom started in on Lou and Jasper, graciously, allowed her to. She had always had a soft spot for children, and she relished the times when she was allowed to dote on anyone's offspring. I know she had been pulling for James and me to bed down and push out a grandbaby or two.

Lou had finally woken up and she took to her surroundings surprisingly well, allowing my mom to coddle her and feed her bits of the cookies she had just baked.

I waited as she and Jasper chatted back and forth, about Lou, about Jasper, about me. I stayed only half invested in the conversation until I heard my father's footsteps in the hallway followed by his velvety smooth voice, "ah, the prodigal daughter has returned."

"Hi dad." I said as he slid in to the room and wrapped me up in a hug.

"Hi sugarplum. I'm glad you could make it." He said, and despite the slight bite in his voice, his eyes held nothing but warmth.

"Dad," I said, steeling myself as I grabbed hold of Jasper's hand. "This is Jasper."

"The boyfriend?" he asked as he took Jasper's outstretched hand, the one that wasn't currently being crushed by my fingers.

I opened my mouth but Jasper beat me to it, "Yes sir." He said no more but I looked up to see him smiling down at me.

"Esme?" My dad called and my mother appeared from around the kitchen door, Lou held in her arms, clutching a whole sugar cookie. "Who is that?"

"This is Louise, Carlisle." My mom said, smoothing out Lou's curls, eyes shining. "Jasper's daughter."

My dad turned then, his eyebrows raised in question, and Jasper looked to me. "We call her Lou." I said finally.

"_We_?" My dad asked, his voice dripping with incredulity. "You haven't been gone long enough to procreate, so I know she isn't _yours._ Unless there is something you haven't told us."

I tensed and prepared for the fight that I was sure was about to happen, but instead my mom stepped in, handing Lou off to Jasper as she placed a hand on my dad's arm. "Carlisle, the turkey is ready can you help me get it to the table please?"

He nodded stiffly and turned, moving away from the two of us. Jasper smiled apologetically down at me and I sighed, leading him to the dining room.

Yes, I'd much rather be leading him to death.

**A/N: Happy Almost Friday! Don't kill me! Maybe I'll see you again...soon. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 13**

"So, Jasper." My mother started as she tucked in to her food. "We haven't heard much about you, though we haven't heard much from Alice at all recently. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"

Jasper smiled at my mother, I couldn't blame him really; everyone loved my mother. "Well, I work in the construction business right now. But I'm working with some old friends of mine, producing a record."

"So you are a musician?" My dad was practically scoffing as he took a break from avoiding the conversation.

"Well, I used to be." Jasper said and I saw his eyes dart quickly to Lou who sat nestled in a chair beside him. "I'm more in to the behind the scenes work now. Writing, producing, that sort of thing."

"That sounds so, taxing." He said sarcastically. "Did you have to have any _schooling_ for that sort of thing?"

"Dad." I hissed.

"It's okay." Jasper said quietly, reaching under the table to squeeze my thigh. "No, I didn't have any schooling. I actually was in a band before, I took a break from that a couple of years ago."

Dad's eyebrow rose and his eyes darted to Lou, obviously doing the math. "A couple of years huh? Have a falling out with a groupie?"

"Dad!" I cried in disbelief.

"I'm not asking anything other people aren't thinking" My dad defended himself. "You show up here with a man we know little to nothing of, calling him your boyfriend and then we discover that he has a child."

"It's none of your business." I ground out.

"It _is_ my business. _Our_ business. We gave you everything. Every opportunity, every leg up, you were spared nothing."

"I never asked for that." I argued, beginning to see red.

"You didn't have to." He yelled. "You were our daughter and we wanted the best for you. We gave you the best. Until you decided it wasn't enough."

"That wasn't it…" I argued, tears springing up behind my eyes. "It had nothing to do…"

"It has everything to do with us. We didn't raise you to be like this Alice. We raised you with respect, with dignity." He glowered at Jasper. "With class."

And with that, I had had enough. I stood up, pulling Jasper's hand. Thankfully, he followed suit and I didn't stop save for to pick up Louise from the chair she was situated in, as I headed for the car, buckling her in her car seat in the back as Jasper started the engine.

* * *

><p>"I am so incredibly sorry." I whimpered in to Jasper's shoulder as we lay in his bed.<p>

The ride home had been silent, save for Lou singing what sounded suspiciously like "twinkle, twinkle little star" in the back seat. When we had arrived at Jasper's, I hadn't even bothered to go home. Instead waiting for him to put Lou in her bed as I lay stretched across his, fighting the tears that I knew were threatening to spill over.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" He asked, his voice soft, unsure, and I hated my dad at the moment.

"My dad is a douche." I cried.

He sighed and pulled away from me, sitting up. "He isn't though. I mean, he could have put it nicer but he's right."

I stopped wallowing then as I sat up, staring at him in disbelief. "what the hell are you talking about?"

Jasper looked at me then, a sad smile on his lips. "You deserve the world Alice. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I knew I had fallen for you the moment you came running in to that restaurant all out of breath and wearing those ridiculous shoes. But… maybe you're not meant for me. You deserve so much more than I can give…"

"Shut up." I growled, pushing off the bed, moving in front of him. "Don't you dare."

"I haven't made it official. Like you said, and I thought at first, 'that's stupid, what would we need to make it more official', but then I was thinking that maybe you're right. The reason I haven't asked you to be mine is because you don't get to be mine. Because I'm too much… baggage."

I grabbed his face in my hands then, drawing his eyes to me. "I left home. My ex, James, he _was_ a douche. Right after my nursing exams, I thought I was pregnant. I was happy but I was terrified because James had a plan and things had to go according to plan or they wouldn't go at all. So when I told him that I thought I was pregnant he told me that I was a spoiled rotten brat. That I had done it on purpose to _ruin_ him. He told me that my parents loved him more than they would ever love me because he had what it took to be an adult. Then he told me to 'get rid of it' because I could never be a mother because I didn't know what it took to love someone. He told me he never loved me.

I cried for hours that night and when I finally woke up, I found out that I wasn't pregnant, the stress of my exams and of the fiancé who made me wish I was something I wasn't had done it to me. I moved here to get away from that. Because I knew I would never be enough for my family. Because I didn't _feel _like enough. But Jasper, you make me feel like enough. Louise, she makes me feel like enough. You two together, you are enough. You aren't baggage, neither is she, not to me."

Jasper reached up, his thumb brushing away the tears that were sliding down my cheeks but I pushed forward, gathering his lips with my own. I pushed in to him, falling with him on the bed as our tongues danced, flames burning between us everywhere our skin touched. It was a heady desire as he rolled so he was hovering above me. He pulled away, his eyes searching mine, waiting for me to push him away like I had so many times before. But this time I didn't as I used my body to wiggle out of my pants.

"I'm giving you an out." He said, his steely eyes longing and pleading.

I shook my head. "I don't want an out. I want you."

**A/N: My favorite show comes back on tonight, I don't have to cook lunch, and I'm in a giving mood! You're welcome. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 14**

"I hate Christmas." Alice said.

"Scrooge." Rose called from the floor where she was currently wrapping some ungodly toy she had bought for Lou.

"No. Not Christmas. Like, _Christmas_." Alice laughed, she too was wrapping presents for Lou and by the pile of perfectly wrapped presents at her feet you'd never be one to believe her words.

"Shut up. Elves don't hate Christmas." Emmett said.

"For the last time Em," she growled. "I'm not an elf."

Emmett looked at me, rolling his eyes, and mouthed the word _elf_. I laughed, despite myself and Alice threw the roll of tape over her shoulder, pegging him in the side of the head.

"It's not that I don't like the story of Christmas. I just think it's so over commercialized." She continued.

"Says the woman who cashed out on her 401k to buy for a toddler." I mock whispered and Emmett howled with laughter.

"You weren't going to get her _anything_." She accused. "You're a mean Daddy."

"I don't _have_ to buy her anything." I argued. "First of all, she's two. She's more interested in the boxes. Second of all, I just peel off a few of the stickers from these guys' presents and call it good."

"I knew it!" It was my turn to get pegged as Rosalie threw an empty wrapping paper tube at my head. "Emmett, help me up, I need to kick his ass."

"Hey!" I said, "No swearing in this house! Baby ears repeats _everything_ now."

Alice laughed from her perch at the table, both of us remembering the last time either of us had said a 'naughty' word and subsequently been treated to that word being repeated in stereo at various intervals.

"How did I know she was going to shout it at the Christmas party?" Alice laughed.

The two of us had become almost inseparable the past few weeks. A part of me was reveling in the fact that a woman like Alice would want me, kid and all, while another part was being eaten alive by guilt. I knew her parents had been calling her, and I knew that she had been ignoring those phone calls in earnest. I also knew what it was like to not have any parents.

Emmett nudged me, "beer?"

"I'll get it." I said, getting up to follow him in to the kitchen.

"So, how does it feel to be a big shot record mogul now?" Emmett asked, leaning on the counter as I dug through the fridge for a brew.

I rolled my eyes. Ever since I had been offered a job at Seattle's BarSunk label, Emmett had taken to calling me out on it at least once a day, sometimes calling me just to poke fun at me. It might have upset me, had I not known he had been bragging at his company Christmas party to anyone that would listen. "Great. How's it feel to be in the same job you've had for years."

He laughed and shook his head as I continued my search. "Any news on the…home front?"

"Nope." I said, handing him the last can I could find, knowing exactly who he was talking about. "She says its fine but I feel terrible. I don't want her to choose between them and me. I mean, they're her parents for Pete's sake."

Emmett offered me the last beer when I decided there were no more to be had. I shook my head and he shrugged and opened it, his brow furrowed. "I think that it's her choice to make. If you try to push her in to it, you're either going to push her away from you or just piss her off. Neither of which is a good option, by the way. You don't want to be on Santa's naughty list this close to Christmas."

"For Fucks sake Emmett…"

He laughed and shrugged. "Besides, you love her."

I looked up, "I don't… how do you…why do you say that?"

He guffawed even louder and took another loud slurp of beer. "I've known you for years. You love Rose, you love that baby, and hell I think you might even love me. I've seen you love and I happen to be in love. Trust me, you love that girl."

I hated to admit it, but he had a point. I watched as he wandered back in to the living room, 'accidentally' bumping in to Alice on the way. I smiled as she pegged him with a crumpled piece of tissue paper without missing a beat.

"We're out of beer." I announced to the room. "If we're going to make it through the next few hours, I think we can all agree someone needs to make a run."

"Count me out." Emmett said as he burped and then crushed the beer can.

Rosalie rolled her eyes but sighed and gestured to her baby bump, "I can't reach the pedals with this thing in the way."

"I'll go." Alice said, smiling as she hopped up from her seat. "My ass is killing me anyway."

She gave me a long kiss, only pulling away when Emmett complained that he couldn't see the television, and grabbed her coat, heading out the door and in to the frosty night air.

Rosalie started humming Christmas carols, the moment the door was closed and Emmett turned up the volume on the television and I was thankful that Bella had offered to take Lou for the night so that we could have a grown up night and get Christmas presents wrapped because there was no way she would've been sleeping through the racket her aunt and uncle were making. As it were, we only just got her to start sleeping through the night in her own bed.

"Ugh. Alice is right." I complained as Rosalie started on jingle bells, again, and I was thankful when the doorbell rang.

"Get that woman her own key!" Rosalie yelled as I hopped over the growing pile of gifts toward the door.

"Yeah. She pretty much lives here anyway!" Emmett yelled as the two exchanged another, presumably dirty, joke that was just out of earshot.

I rolled my eyes and threw open the door as I felt my stomach drop at the person in front of me.

**A/N: Sorry! Meant to update last weekend but had a bout of food poisoning. Never trust a grocery store salad bar! Thanks for reading! **


End file.
